dark-mystics-lover

The Creator of Kana et Shi

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Q by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

Q

I hate you. Because I love you. I love you. Because… Well, I don’t know why. Why DO I love you? When I’m with you, I am ecstatic. But when I am apart from you, Everything hurts. I can think clearly. My hearts quakes when I’m with you. My heart breaks when I’m not. Why? I can’t understand it at all. I hate you for making me feel this way. I hate you for making me feel. I hate that I am so utterly and disgustingly in love with you. Because I know you don’t reciprocate. I hate you. Because I love you. ~M

tired. by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

tired.

Tired. tired I’m so very tired. Everything hurts. Everything is exhausting. tired my body is tired i can’t move my muscles I’m too tired to get out of bed. Eating is exhausting. If I stopped, How long before my body wasted away, eating itself, trying to supply enough energy so that I may simply be. But ‘simply being’ is tiring too. tired I’m so tired. I want to sleep And never awake. ~M

heartbeats by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

heartbeats

I can hear it And I hate it. Is it because of my supposèd heightened sensitivity? Or am I actually that weak, that I can hear my own heartbeat? It’s always there. I’m always aware of it. I can feel it, throbbing, almost like a headache, in the back of my head. And at the tips of my fingers, like after having caught them whilst closing a door. I can hear it pounding in my eardrums; always shocking me with its volume. I can see it too. At the edge of my vision, Everything in the periphery seems to be pulsating. It is unnerving. And if I dare to look upon my breast, about the area wherein mine heart should reside, I can s

help by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

help

Help. I need help. I can’t keep doing this to myself. Please. Someone. Help. I want to be happy. I want to feel happy. I want to feel. But I can’t. I won’t let myself. Someone help me. Someone stop me. Please, I’m begging. Keep me from self-destructing. Someone. Anyone. Please. I need help. Keep me from self-sabotaging. I know I’m hurting myself; I can’t stop it. Please. Help me. help ~M

friend by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

friend

Friend. /Am/ I your friend? I’d like to think so. But I think we both know the truth. You don’t see me as “friend”. You use me like a tool; And we both know that it is Because I let you. So please continue to do so. You ignore me for months on end, Seemingly pointedly, Yet expect me to come running back each time like some mutt whenever you feel that I am of use to you. If you had wanted a pet, You should’ve asked. …You’re a terrible “Master”. A real dog would’ve run away Long before now. So what am I to you? What do you see me as? … I see you as someone dear to me. I kno

honest fool by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

honest fool

There are people who are smart, People who are brilliant, People who are average, And people who are idiots. But what am I, and what are you? What qualifies each person-? Under what circumstances-? Am I actually as “brilliant” as I was always led to believe? No. I don’t think so. I think I’ve always been a fool: A fool who sees everything, unbiased and honestly. A fool who sees the truth, simply, but can’t deny it. I pity this being. Having to live without being able to deceive even themself. ~M

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Q by dark-mystics-lover, literature

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Q

tired. by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

tired.

heartbeats by dark-mystics-lover, literature

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heartbeats

help by dark-mystics-lover, literature

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help

friend by dark-mystics-lover, literature

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friend

honest fool by dark-mystics-lover, literature

Literature

honest fool

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I'm Sorry by yuumei, journal

I'm Sorry

Jan 20, 2016

I finally realized that my traumatic past has been catching up to me. My unresolved fears and pain of abandonment as a child by my parents has seeped into my adult life. It triggers extreme reactions in me that drives people close to me away. I like to pretend to be strong. That whatever comes at me in life, I'll just pull myself up again and get over it. I'd like to believe that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I'd like to pretend that if I somehow draw out pain, and put it on canvas, that the pain will be contained on canvas, and not deep inside me. But that's not true. When I'm knocked down and broken, and left to pick up the piece

About dark-mystics-lover

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Artist // Hobbyist // Varied

United States
Deviant for 14 years
She / Her

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My Bio

i am a tomboy,virgo,girl,pessimist,procrastinator,and not afraid to get dirty.don't like pink or dresses/skirts or anything feminine.im smart but lazy. i like crude/dark humor.firstborn.like to cook but can't.quiet at
school.play violin.can sing too.mature for my age.like to irratate people and argueing.never let my emotions take control.

Favourite TV Shows

anime; mythbusters; haunted; ripleys; animal planet

Favourite Books

a wrinkle in time; insomnia

Favourite Writers

stephen king; mariah stewart

Favourite Games

zelda:oot,mm,tp,4s,lttp; grimgrimoire; assassin's creed

Tools of the Trade

paper and pencil

Other Interests

gardening,historic facts,reading fanfictions,randomness,thing that are old

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dark-mystics-lover

Dec 25, 2013

just checking in

0 min read

concerning pocky day; it was a success. today is Christmas eve, at about 11:20 at night. that's all I wanted to say, so... Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, Happy Holidays, Bonne Annee, Happy New Year's, and every other thing that I don't remember at present moment. =D

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dark-mystics-lover

Nov 6, 2013

pocky day- 11/11

0 min read

i have to make this quick, i'm on my mom's phone. november eleventh is international pocky day, and i have decided to do something this year. im goinv to gef as many boxes of pocky as i can and give a box to everyone who have either never heard of it or have never before tried it. i post this to encourage others to do the same in an effort to further spread the deliciousness that is pocky. also, if you do indeed participate there is nothing saying that you cannot keep a box to yourself. ps. i do not know when i shall return to DA, probably not for another long while. do not fret. i also do not expext anyone to actually take part, as the idea

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dark-mystics-lover

Jul 26, 2013

fail cleaning

0 min read

I wanted to clean my room. cause we're moving and I wanted to inventory everything that I was going to pack up, right? so I spend, like, two hours cleaning this morning. I leave thinking that I cleaned up pretty darn good. I come back and I realized that all did was take everything off the floor and put it on my bed. and all the trash I threw out amounted to only a stack of papers less than two inches high. I fail.