dark-mystics-lover

I hate you. Because I love you. I love you. Because… Well, I don’t know why. Why DO I love you? When I’m with you, I am ecstatic. But when I am apart from you, Everything hurts. I can think clearly. My hearts quakes when I’m with you. My heart breaks when I’m not. Why? I can’t understand it at all. I hate you for making me feel this way. I hate you for making me feel. I hate that I am so utterly and disgustingly in love with you. Because I know you don’t reciprocate. I hate you. Because I love you. ~M

Tired. tired I’m so very tired. Everything hurts. Everything is exhausting. tired my body is tired i can’t move my muscles I’m too tired to get out of bed. Eating is exhausting. If I stopped, How long before my body wasted away, eating itself, trying to supply enough energy so that I may simply be. But ‘simply being’ is tiring too. tired I’m so tired. I want to sleep And never awake. ~M

I can hear it And I hate it. Is it because of my supposèd heightened sensitivity? Or am I actually that weak, that I can hear my own heartbeat? It’s always there. I’m always aware of it. I can feel it, throbbing, almost like a headache, in the back of my head. And at the tips of my fingers, like after having caught them whilst closing a door. I can hear it pounding in my eardrums; always shocking me with its volume. I can see it too. At the edge of my vision, Everything in the periphery seems to be pulsating. It is unnerving. And if I dare to look upon my breast, about the area wherein mine heart should reside, I can s

Help. I need help. I can’t keep doing this to myself. Please. Someone. Help. I want to be happy. I want to feel happy. I want to feel. But I can’t. I won’t let myself. Someone help me. Someone stop me. Please, I’m begging. Keep me from self-destructing. Someone. Anyone. Please. I need help. Keep me from self-sabotaging. I know I’m hurting myself; I can’t stop it. Please. Help me. help ~M